And the #1 Un-Christmassy Christmas Song IS…
Finally! We have arrived at the pinnacle of Mt. UnChristmas. The only clue I dropped during this whole Top 13 countdown was song #7 (“Where Are You, Christmas?” by Faith Hill, from the 2000 remake of “The Grinch.”)
1.You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch- Thurl Ravenscroft (UNCREDITED!)
Most everybody knows that the Grinch in the 1966 animated TV special How the Grinch Stole Christmas was voiced by actor Boris Karloff. However, Karloff did NOT sing the special’s most memorable tune… although it was mistakenly credited to him. The song was actually performed by one Thurl Ravenscroft. While he may not exactly be a household name, those of us who grew up in the 1970s and ‘80s will remember him as the voice of Tony the Tiger in the Frosted Flakes cereal commercials. (“They’re Grrrreat!!!”)
The reason for using Ravenscroft for the one song was, even though he and Karloff sounded very much alike, Boris Karloff could not sing. Legend has it that Dr. Seuss himself tried to rectify the situation and wrote letters to journalists to try and give the voice artist proper credit, even calling Ravenscroft on the telephone to apologize for the oversight.
Here are the full lyrics to the #1 most Un-Christmassy Christmas Song of All Time!
You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You’re as cuddly as a cactus,
You’re as charming as an eel,
You’re a bad banana with a greasy black peel.
You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch.
Your heart’s an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders.
You’ve got garlic in your soul, Mr Grinch.
I wouldn’t touch you with a
Thirty-nine and a half foot pole.
You’re a vile one, Mr. Grinch.
You have termites in your smile,
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile,
Given the choice between the two of you,
I’d take the seasick crocodile.
You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch.
You’re a nasty wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks.
Your soul is full of gunk,
The three best words that best describe you,
Are as follows, and I quote”
You’re a rotter Mr Grinch
You’re the king of sinful sots
Your heart’s a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots
Your soul is an appalling dump heap
Overflowing with the most disgraceful
Assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.
You nauseate me, Mr Grinch
With a nauseous super nos
You’re a crooked jerky jockey and,
You drive a crooked horse
You’re a three-decker sauerkraut
And toadstool sandwich,
With arsenic sauce!
And with those unmatchable sentiments, I wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and a healthful,happy New Year!